About Santou and this publication Leadership From Loss

When my father died of lung cancer many years ago, my supervisor at the time - a priest - told me to 'be like James Bond: hide your feelings and get on with the job of leading others.' As a faith community leader, I was given no space to mourn. And in my opinion, this was the worst advice I ever received. There was no compassion – and no understanding from lived experience of losing a parent nor how grief from loss of a parent profoundly impacts a person.

When my mother died from Influenza in a nursing home in March 2025, I chose to grieve differently. As a Family Psychotherapist specializing in loss, trauma and grief, I knew there had to be a better way to lead while grieving. Leadership From Loss was born from this journey.

Welcome to a space where grief and leadership coexist. Here, you'll find professional guidance combined with personal insights as I navigate my own recent loss. Whether you're leading yourself, a community group, or supporting grieving employees, I offer therapeutic wisdom and practical tools to help you lead with both courage and compassionate humanity.

This publication has been especially created for those who:

  • Lead teams, families, or communities while processing grief

  • Want to better support grieving employees and improve retention

  • Seek to understand grief without seeing a traditional therapist

  • Are ready to transform loss into meaningful growth

Join me weekly for:

  • Personal reflections from my grief journey

  • Professional insights from 30 years of working with all ages

  • Practical tools and frameworks for leading through loss

  • Reflective questions to help you process your grief

  • Curated resources for emotional support

  • Savings of 10% off my other services and training

A Unique Approach to Leadership Through Loss:

I address leadership through a comprehensive body-mind-spirit-relational lens, because true leadership engages every part of who you are, not just your work role.

Join Our Community

Your subscription connects you with:

  • Weekly posts combining personal journey and professional insights

  • A holistic framework for integrated leadership

  • A growing community of thoughtful leaders navigating loss

  • Practical tools and resources for emotional support

  • VIP level gives you access to 10% off my other services

Choose your subscription level and join our community of leaders transforming grief into meaningful growth.

Who Am I?

As a second-generation Genocide survivor and war refugee, I understand profound loss intimately. This personal journey, combined with my professional expertise as a multi-award-winning Family Psychotherapist and ordained clergyperson, allows me to offer unique insights into grief and healing.

My integrated approach combines:

  • Therapeutic expertise in loss and grief

  • Spiritual wisdom for those seeking it

  • Cultural perspectives on loss, trauma and grief

  • Understanding of both personal and professional leadership

🏆 I’m a multi-award-winning family psychotherapist, specializing in loss and grief.

✝️ I’m also an ordained clergyperson, now working globally and outside the confines of the institutional church. Unlike most therapists, I can also support people through the spiritual aspects of death and mourning, if they desire to - including deconstructing harmful or unhelpful theology and rebuilding a faith that resonates with you and heals.

In addition, I am:

✍️ an internationally best-selling author

🎤 an international inspirational speaker

🎵 an award-winning singer

➡️ a certified Coach and Grief Educator

🧍🧍🧍🧍 a trained Group Facilitator

This blend of personal experience and professional training enables me to guide you through grief while developing integrated leadership skills.

Why Subscribe?

Transform your relationship with grief while maintaining your leadership role as a parent, community group leader or corporate manager.

As a paid subscriber, you'll receive:

  • Weekly therapeutic insights combining personal experience and professional expertise

  • Practical tools for leading yourself and others through loss

  • Access to a growing community of leaders navigating similar journeys

  • Special discounts on additional services and training

Your subscription includes:

  • In-depth posts with real-time grief reflections

  • Professional frameworks grounded in therapeutic practice

  • Curated resources for emotional support, including music and some of my singing performances

  • Reflective exercises for processing grief

  • savings on private coaching, mentoring or therapeutic services, trainings and other resources

Join me in creating a new model of leadership - one that embraces both courage and authenticity.

What Leaders Say About Working With Me:

My success stories demonstrate the transformative power of courageous grievers putting in the effort to process their grief.

Here are select testimonials from leaders who've experienced growth through our journey together:

Real Progress

“I was having a hard time making time for grief and allowing myself to go through the process. I felt like I was bottling up feelings and not surrendering.

I tried to solve my challenges by seeing a spiritual medium, writing down my feelings and talking to friends. It didn’t quite work to the extent that I wanted it to.

After I started sessions with Santou, I was able to reflect more deeply on how I was feeling and on my relationship with my father who passed; I also developed a greater understanding of the different phases and different styles of grieving, which helped.

I have a much greater understanding and appreciation of the grief journey and would say I have noticed about a 50% improvement in terms of reflection and knowledge so far.

I would strongly recommend Santou. Her style is to encourage self-reflection and she has a natural, fluid conversational style, rather than following a script or strict methodology. I have made real progress over the last few months.”

- LA, Corporate Manager (corporate leader)


Therapy Support

“In seeking therapy, my biggest challenge was finding a navigational pathway to easing a conflict within my birth family and finding a pathway that can be sustained once the initial conflict has been faced.

I was uncertain & feeling uncomfortable at not understanding the best approach to take.
After speaking with Santou, I feel I am gaining a broader set of skills, including different approaches, to help me manage conflict situations.

I feel much more comfortable and in control of my thoughts & feelings with regard to conflict than at the start of the process.

For example, I feel I have moved from a 4/10 to 7/10 in terms of my managing my feelings around the conflict. And in terms of clarity of how to move forward, I feel I have moved from 2/10 to 6/10 at present (and I hope to continue to improve through an ongoing process).

If anyone is considering using Santou’s services, I’d say “take the leap and try the engagement”. She takes an honest approach in her work.

Overall, my biggest gain from this process is that Santou has challenged me to think in different ways about the conflict I’m in to expand my perspective and choices in responding to conflict.”

- NI, Transport Manager (corporate leader)


It was amazing for my family

“It was amazing for my family, working with Santou.

I was stunned at how much family therapy helped us deal with our losses.

Santou is trustworthy and sincere. She was able to teach us how to manage our emotions in a creative way.

She always made useful, thoughtful suggestions.

My family and I really benefited from her expertise, and it helped us to see things from a different perspective. I think we will always make use of what we learnt together.”

- HRH, NHS nurse (family leader)


Truly Grateful

“I would definitely recommend Santou who has a wealth of understanding and knowledge in supporting those of us who have experienced loss, trauma or grief.

She is non-judgemental and has shown me warmth, acceptance and empathy.

She has provided emotional and practical support and helped me to become more self-aware and not give up hope.

The incredible support I have received has helped me feel I am not alone, and I am truly grateful for and will always appreciate her care, attention and patience with me.”

- JS, NHS employee (self-leader)


Transformational support

“I went to so many places and none of them helped. These counselling sessions with Santou have really helped.

She has transformed my life and my view of life. I now know how to manage my thoughts and mood if I’m feeling low – that’s all down to her.

She gave me practical advice to be independent and to rely on myself as well as how to communicate with others. Santou has helped me a lot on how to deal with and sort out issues and problems.

Honestly, I can’t find enough words to say thank you. Thank you is not enough.

Before our sessions, I was very down with low mood. But over the 8 sessions, she took me out of that and now I can control my thoughts and mood. She’s done a lot for me.

She’s changed my life and I’m okay now.”

- AQ, (self-leader)

Your subscription gives you access to:

  • Weekly emails combining personal grief journey with professional insights

  • Practical tools for leading through loss

  • Curated resources for emotional support

  • 10% savings on additional services and training

Join our community of leaders who understand that processing grief thoughtfully creates more effective leadership.

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Multi-award-winning therapeutic insights, with resources and practical tools for those wanting to navigate grief and relationships independently - empowering you to lead yourself and others through loss.

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Revd Santou Carter is a 4x award-winning Family Therapist specializing in loss, trauma and grief. Combining 30 years of therapeutic expertise with spiritual wisdom, she guides people through loss while developing their leadership skills.